It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. So, rather than overwhelming you with a heaving list of stuff, I restrained myself to one thing per category. I hope you enjoy it!
🗞 “Men are lost. Here’s a map out of the wilderness.”
When a friend first sent me this article by Washington Post columnist Christine Emba, I regarded its title with a sense of beleaguered unease. It’s not that I disagree with the sentiment; it’s more that I’ve read a lot of stuff like this and, as a result, expected the subsequent prose to operate at a certain emotional and moral altitude that mocks from above. I was pleased to find the op-ed did nothing of the sort. If anything, it offers a compassionate portrait of your average guy caught in a cultural shitstorm. Major macroeconomic and cultural shifts have left men behind in work and education. They are confused about their role at home. Men make up three out of four deaths of despair (suicide, drug overdose). This sense of disorientation is exacerbated by a general allergy on the left to acknowledge or address issues facing men. Worse, as they look around for any masculine role model or ideal, all they can find is the “common sense” perspective articulated by the manosphere, manosphere-adjacent figures (read: Jordan Peterson, Andrew Tate), or the reactionary right. These voices retreat to an atavistic stance on masculinity — that men need to restore their honor by becoming strong protectors and providers — which isn’t wrong but is absurdly simplistic. Emba teases all of this out elegantly. The only critical thing I’ll say about the piece is that, in contrast with the title’s promise, it’s light on solutions. We need a model that retains the good aspects of masculinity from the past but tolerates complexity. One that can bend to adjust to new social norms but still help men to feel like they aren’t giving up everything about who they are and want to be — Link to Washington Post
📚 Stay True by Hua Hsu
I recently devoured this Pulitzer Prize-winning memoir, which focuses on the author’s relationship with a friend who was killed in a carjacking during their college years. Like any good account of someone’s life, it’s hard to explain exactly what made this story leap off the page. But Hsu, a staff writer at the New Yorker, has a particular way of explicating his internal narrative. The book is essentially a meditation on three themes: male friendship, Asian American identity, and grief. I highly recommended — Link to Book
🎙 “Other Men Need Help”
I’ve been listening to “Other Men Need Help” for some time, so I was excited when the fourth season came out at the beginning of the summer. Host Mark Pagán skillfully weaves his own story in with broader male-oriented themes like fatherhood, body image, and hair loss. It’s one of the few narrative-driven podcasts about masculinity, and I won’t hesitate to tell you it’s great. — Link to Pod
📺 “Dave” Season 2 on Hulu/FX
I’ve previously mentioned this off-beat show created by comedian/actor Dave Burd, also known by his rapper stage name Little Dicky. Through his music, Burd has long thumbed his nose at industry standards and masculinity at large. For his song “$ave Dat Money” he attempts to create the cheapest music video possible — a reversal on the typical rapper trope of flaunting extravagant wealth. The show, loosely based on his internet-led music career, displays similar antics. In the previous season, Dave portrayed himself as a neurotic, Jewish star-to-be who used his Bar Mitzvah money to launch a legitimate rap career. In season 2, he goes on tour and is focused on his search for love. It’s funny, weird, and inappropriate. I don’t think I’m spoiling anything by saying that Brad Pitt cameos and gets shot with a crossbow. Ultimately, Dave is a show about challenging expectations around how men in Burd’s position are supposed to be. — Link to Show
🎞 Barbie
This film is a predictable choice for this newsletter, especially since it’s yielded an avalanche of think pieces about masculinity. I am not quite sure why I resisted writing something about this myself. But I will say that I think Greta Gerwig set her up with a nearly impossible task. From the first appearance of the film’s teaser, it was clear that critics were chomping at the bit to destroy the movie for attempting to remake Barbie as some feminist icon (which history shows she is not) and furthering Hollywood’s IP obsession. And yet, she somehow pulled it off. Barring a few unnecessary digressions — notably, the inclusion of a character based on Barbie’s creator Ruth Handler — the film is quite entertaining. Gerwig also manages to critique, in a fun way, the kind of traditional masculinity that traps men into status and power games. I think it’s worth seeing, even if to understand the right’s reactionary stance on the film and the resulting memes. Also, I’ll note that I told my wife I’d like to rename our domicile the “mojo dojo casa house.” She was not amused. — Link to Trailer